In preparation for the World Cup, the "offside rule" explained for women:

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop
assistant on the till is holding a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you
must have.
The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them
with desire. Both of you have forgotten your purses.

It would be rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money
to pay for the shoes.

The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.

Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and
sees your dilemma.

She prepares to throw her purse to you.

If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper
and buy the shoes!

At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and
"whilst it is in flight" you could nip around the other shopper, catch the
purse and buy the shoes!

BUT, you must always remember that until the purse has "actually been
thrown", it would be plain wrong for you to be in front of the other
shopper and you would be OFFSIDE
_________________

oh ye of simple faith.

Yeh, thats fine, but it's no good expaining that to my good lady, and many other women, that don't buy shoes in pairs but usually in pairs of pairs!

Paul, could you explain offside to them given that situation? only joking!

But yes, very good, an item which will most probably "stir" some of the female supporters into responding. Are you ready for the flack?

Something slightly controversial will always get a response on this forum. It's a bit of fun steve that's all.

Very good Paul, I like it, I must agree that some women haven't got a clue about things like offside but you of all people should know that some of us ladies actually play, and like to watch the game so we know the offside rule, I'm sure Emma would agree!

I don't think you will get much flack other than from me!!

Up the Lions, Heanor Ladies and England